Irony Abounds

It is GMC Truck Month. Maybe it's everyone's Truck Month. Do we have a National Truck Month here in the USA? If so, does the last letter — 'A' — now stand for 'Automerica' instead of simply 'America?'

Did I miss the memo ... again?

That it is apparently National Truck Month here in the 'States is not, in and of itself, ironic. It is as surprising as Mecca shutting down for Ramadan, or Tel Aviv for Yom Kippur, or Your Average Bank for 4:59 PM. The only surprising part is that there are no parades, kitschy sidebars in third-grade Social Studies texts, or other such National Truck Month-abelia.

So where, you might wonder, does the irony come in?

Specifically, it comes in the form of the really annoying ads for — yes, you guessed it! — trucks that have appeared on most of my favorite bike blogs (not the bloggers' doing). They are particularly ironic because, like an addle-pated Distracted Driver, they don't hesitate to mindlessly insert themselves between you and your destination.

I must now direct my comments to GMC for a moment. Feel free to talk amongst yourself (all one of you who actually reads my blog).

GMC, we need to talk. First, um ... there's a little thing called 'Targeted Advertising.' It's pretty new, but I know you auto manufacturers are all about the newest new-fangled things. You might want to look into it.

Second, if you're going to advertise your trucks all over people's bike blogs, at least do us the courtesy of telling us whether or not they come with integrated bed-mounted bike racks and room for two full-size bikes (front wheels removed) behind the seat. To those of us who ride bikes, this can be important information, in case we ever find ourselves in a predicament — such as a long-distance vacation, or moving to Alaska — that might be better solved by driving a four-wheeled combustion-driven vehicle instead of riding a two-wheeled carbohydrate-driven vehicle.

Third, you know those ads that hijack your entire freaking browser window when you inadvertently mouse in their general direction? They're really annoying, right? Right, I'm sure you agree.

SO DON'T USE THEM. EVER!

Fourth, you don't know this about me, but I am, in fact, a fan of trucks. As a lifelong horseman and future large-animal vet, I can speak to the utility of trucks for hauling horses and their mind-bending array of accessories or twelve tons of VetWrap from place to place.

And your ad has just succeeded in making me NOT WANT TO BUY YOUR TRUCKS.

Yes, that's right — annoying a potential customer is not actually a good way to earn his business, unless you sell the only version available of the product he needs.

Now, if you don't mind, I plan to return to reading Better Bike Blogs Than Mine in peace.

This concludes our broadcast day.

P.S.: I found some neat bike-related stuff this past weekend, but will write about it when I have a bit more time.

P.P.S: I also (GASP!) didn't ride my bike from Thursday through Sunday. ZOMG!