How Not To Train For Cyclocross

This post is, of course, intended solely as a public service, and is not in any way a description of how I am currently training for cyclocross.

Really.

I swear.

Ahem.

How Not To Train for Cyclocross

1. Do not ride your bike.
2. Spend a weekend in DC seeing the sights and stuffing yourself full of DC-specific fare.
3. Do not ride your bike.
4. Spend a weekend in Chicago seeing the sights and stuffing yourself full of extremely awesome Chicago-specific fare*.
5. Develop a sinus infection. Continue to not ride your bike.
6. Spend a week in Florida, in August.
7. DO NOT, under any circumstances, ride your bike**.
8. If anyone asks, tell them you are taking three weeks off so you will be 'well-rested' when 'cross season starts.
9. Do not ride your bike.

We now return to our regularly-scheduled broadcast day.


*Chicago is packed with good restaurants. If you're there, give Vivere ($16-$30/entree) and Cafecito ($5-$6/sammich) a try. Unfortunately, unless you are friends of the fabulous Eric&Larry, you probably won't get to try their amazing baked eggs, since they don't run a restaurant.
**In fact, I plan to ride in Florida, but I do not plan to ride my bike. It would cost at least as much to bring my bike on the plane as it would to simply rent a bike for a week — so instead I'm going to rent a bike, tool around Fort Lauderdale, and try not to get killed.