King's Cross Registration is open!

As you all undoubtedly know already, cyclocross season is fast approaching.

So, what does that mean?

Well, besides the tingling anticipation of cowbells, beer, and luchadors in polka-dotted tights (half the reason I joined Rogue Racing Project), this means it's time to sign up for races.

Yea verily, I say unto you: woe betide the man who does not register for King's Cross, for under the feet of the mighty the newbies shall fall.

In other words, please come out to OCVX #1, King's Cross, and kick my butt (I am registered for the Saturday 10:00 AM race — I'll be the fat kid in Rogue kit). Since I don't own a proper 'cross bike, have never raced bikes (at least, not formally) before — let alone in a cyclocross setting — and I am also (kinda) fat and (sorta) slow(at least off the bike), it is extremely likely that I will completely embarass my team and immediately be asked to turn in my snazzy jersey and commit seppuku. You won't want to miss that. Besides, if you aren't sure of your talent and fitness, but you want to do some racing and be able to beat at least one guy in Cat 4, you should definitely come to King's Cross, where you will almost certainly beat the pants off of me.

I do plan to train for this event. Nonetheless, I am trying to keep my aspirations in check. If I give them free rein, they will spiral out of control from "I must have fun and finish the Cat 4 race without being asked to leave the sport of cyclocross forever!" to "I must place well and do honor to my team!" to "I must lap the entire field ... TWICE!" My bike does not go to 11; neither should my aspirations. I will use this race to have fun and assess my strengths and weaknesses relative to my fellow cyclocrossers. Yeah, that's the ticket.

I assume that 'training for cyclocross' means I will be (oh, the horror) running on a regular basis. (I can picture this now — DD: "Where are you going, dear?" Me: "Out for a run." DD: "Um ... why are you carrying your bike?" Me: "Cyclocross." This is going to be my new excuse for everything — Coworker: "Why isn't that one project done?" Me: "Cyclocross.")

I abhor running on roads and sidewalks, so I will try to do my running in the woods, where nobody can point and laugh see my super-secret training techniques like singing show-tunes, berating myself, tripping over my own feet, and sobbing like a little girl at the top of every hill ... if I list them here, actually, I'd have to kill you. And, frankly, I like both of you way too much to allow that to happen. You can thank me later. I am happy to accept gratitude in the form of nice bicycles and/or ice-cream cakes. Extra points for ice-cream cakes shaped like bicycles.

In other news, this morning's ride was uneventful except for the Unlimited Stoplight Buffet. Apparently, while 6:30 AM is a great time to leave home if you want to miss stoplights, 6:40 AM is a great time to leave home if you want to hit them — all of them — from the edge of U of L's campus on in to down town. My ride took half an hour, and a significant chunk of that was spent sitting at stoplights. Argh. I also fought valiantly with my toe clips, and won three out of four battles. The fourth time I came to YET ANOTHER stoplight before actually succeeding in getting my foot into the clip.

Ummm, yeah. Still gonna have to say clipless is looking realy good right now.

I'm planning on using my lunch break to ride my bike around. This will provide me with the perfect excuse for the fact that I am currently wearing my cycling shorts under my pants. This way, if anyone asks (not that they will, mind) I can simply say, "Oh, well, it seemed silly to remove them when I was planning to ride my bike in a couple of hours anyway," instead of, "Um, yeah. I kind of forgot my underpants."